


A Friendship Out of Spite

by OpensUp4Nobody



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Super Sons (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Supersons
Genre: Aliens, It's related to the comics but warped to fit my purposes, M/M, mostly came about while thinking about aliens and batman, this is some sort of AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-03 05:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11525532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpensUp4Nobody/pseuds/OpensUp4Nobody
Summary: Damian is a friendless human just trying to live his life and and Jon is an awkward alien trying to find his place on earth.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this because I'm obsessive and take every opportunity I can to write about aliens. Just saying though, I've never read any batman or superman comics (other than the one I read when I was about 7 and somehow slightly remember) but i have recently aquired a fair bit of comic book knowledge. That said, if anything isn't quite right, just remember that I control this universe to suite my knowledge :-) also I have fiddled with many things, so be prepared. 
> 
> Also, the alternitive title was: A Friendship Out of Spite (and Out of This World) but literally it made me cringe too hard haha

Damian Wayne was a rational sort of guy. He had on good authority that he was well grounded when it came to his observations of the physical world and reality in general. He had been accused of having slightly skewed morals by most people who really knew him as a person, not that there were many who lived long enough to do so, but his views on the fantastic were that he did not buy it. There was not much room for the paranormal or supernatural or whatever it was that was supposedly out there, in his mind. He believed in the things he could see, however, he was having a hard time believing that he had just seen a UFO flying though the night sky. 

Aliens fell more into the 'or whatever was supposedly out there' category of things Damian did not believe in. Sure, he believed that there were aliens out there somewhere, not that he gave them much or any thought, but he did not believe that they were making little visits to the earth. That was more akin to something he might see Todd watching on Ancient Aliens just to piss off everyone else in the room. 

Damian was presently on a return trip to Gotham from visiting with an associate of his father's. He and this associate had enjoyed a lengthy discussion on the topic of what exact was being hidden away in a series of suspicious storage facilities under the cover of Wayne Enterprises. He had not meant to stay so long, but things had gotten a little out of hand when nobody would speak honestly with him. Fortunately, he was eventually able to clear things up with the facility owner when he turned up the heat on his questioning a little bit and he had only just made it out of town and into the middle of nowhere when he had seen a streak of light out of the corner of his eye. 

Turning toward said light, which was hovering outside on the passenger side of his car, he watched it steadily grow as it moved closer to his position. Within seconds he could see the outline of the ship blocking out the stars and emanating an erie blue light from its underside. The shape itself appeared to the the classic UFO flying saucer, silvery and glittering slightly in the blue light. The ship seemed to stop in the middle of a large grassy field not far from where Damian had just decided to stop his car in the middle of the empty road in order to better observe the ship. 

After the ship's coming to a halt, the blue light shimmering over the field grew stronger as the underside of the ship slid open.

Damian was unsure if he should pretend to have seen nothing and keep driving like nothing was wrong or if he should go investigate to insure that he was not losing his mind. He decided he would be better off watching and waiting, it was not everyday that one saw a UFO after all. Unless one lived near a military test sight. Still, this appeared to be different than your typical military test flight. This seemed to be an unidentified flying object of genuine alien origin, otherwise he doubted that he would be seeing it. Unless it was all some sort of social test by the government to monitor individual reactions to apparent aliens.

If that was the case than he should probably get moving because he could not afford to have the government tailing him though hidden surveillance systems. But to what end would such a project be carried out? If did not make sense. Unless the government knew of the existence of aliens and were looking to flood the media with UFO sightings in order to build up to a greater reveal on earth's relationship with extraterrestrial beings. But that did not make a lot of sense either and this kind of conspiratorial thinking was getting him nowhere. He had been forced to watch too much X Files by certain members of his family members. 

Attention back on the field, he saw what seemed to be the shape of a person floating down from the opening in the underside of the ship, but as soon as the figure was halfway down the strange blue beam, it disappeared. Damian squinted in order to see if the body had somehow fallen from the beam or if it had simply disappeared when there was a knock at the driver side of the car that nearly made Damian jump out of his skin, something that was no small feat. Damian prided himself on being decidedly difficult to alarm. The sudden knock at his window, was frustrating for his pride and alarming for his senses. 

Looking out the window and toward the sound, he half expected to see some sort of little gray alien or men in black style government agent standing there with the intention of silencing him. Instead, there was a human man, or at least what appeared to be a human man, who looked to be in his early twenties, around the same age as Damian, leaning down toward the window, motioning that he should roll it down. 

Pausing for half a second to hope that he would not be throttled through the car window, Damian obliged the man and rolled the window down, trusting his ability to defend himself. The cool fall air seeped into the warm car as Damian took in this stranger who had seemed to have appeared from nowhere. It was dark outside but in the light of the car, Damian could see that the man was quite tan, he had messy dark hair that was a bit wavy with length, and kind blue eyes. He was suspiciously pleasant looking. 

"Hi," the stranger said. He had a friendly tone to his voice, but his greeting was a bit clipped with awkwardness. He was at least wearing human clothes, a blue sweat shirt and slightly worn jeans, which did earn him points toward being a human and not an alien in a skin suit. 

Damian glared at him, scrutinizing his face as if the harder he stared the less human it would look. The strangers face remained unchanged, he appeared just as suspiciously normal as he had seconds before. 

The man paused for a moment to just stare at Damian, perhaps in retaliation for the probing glare he was getting, perhaps because he was not expecting such animosity when he knocked on the window of a stopped car in the middle of a field with a UFO hovering in the background. But he seemed to adjust to the situation after a few moments and carried on slightly nervously. "Uh, yeah, hello... So, I just happened to be in the area and, um– was just, you know, wondering if you could direct me to the town of Smallville?"

"Did you just fall out of that UFO?" Damian demanded. Caution be damned, this alien, if that's what he was, did not look especially threatening. The worst that could happen was that this stranger would think him crazy and therefore leave him alone. Unless he was a trap and decided to stab Damian to death with something sharp. 

The man outside the window made a face. "I didn't fall ou– I mean, I don't know what you're talking about... Uh, friend?"

Damian rolled his eyes. "So, you did not come from that strange alien ship that is still just hovering in that field over there?" He gestured toward the UFO whose bottom compartment appeared to be sliding closed. 

"....No, I'm here under unrelated circumstances," he gave an unconvincing laugh. 

"You are not here to silence me or anything like that, I hope?" Damian narrowed his eyes in further suspicion. This man did not look the part of an agent in charge of a cover up, but again, perhaps that was the whole idea. 

"No, I just– Uh, I'm going to get in a lot of trouble if you spread the idea that a UFO dropped me off or something. So, I was hoping you'd be reasonable enough to not do that?" He sounded genuine and his tactic to implore Damian to comply was apparently to make a rather pathetic expression commonly known as 'puppy dog eyes'. Fortunately, Damian was resistant to such low tactics. 

"Well, that certainly sounds as if you are attempting to silence me. But worry not, I am not from Smallville, we are actually nowhere near Smallville, so apparently your alien GPS is faulty. Nor am I from wherever the closest town is to our current position, and I am not going to go around telling people that you are an alien, or whatever it is that you are worried that I might say."

That seemed to cheer the man up a bit despite his being told he was nowhere near his apparent goal, his awkwardness wavering with the sudden relief. "Oh, good. So, you're just not gonna say anything to anyone?"

"I will say nothing to anyone of importance," Damian nodded his head, "people would just think me crazy anyhow. Or lying for the publicity."

The man's smile had developed into a full-fledged grin. "Well, I'm glad to hear that. So, if you're not from here or Smallville, where are you from?"

"That is not any of your concern, and I should really get going, I have a long drive ahead of me." Damian was not about to reveal his personal information to some alien stranger. 

"Then why did you start traveling in the middle of the night?" A logical question. 

"Because again, that is not your concern," Damian hissed, "You don't hear me asking about why your alien companions dropped you off on earth."

"Oh, this is my first physical visit to earth, I was going to start by meeting up with my parents and then go with the flow from there. And, uh, not that I any association with any aliens..." He denied a little too late, looking sheepish. 

"I don't care. So, if you will excuse me, I would very much like to be on my way."

"But I have so much to learn from human kind– I mean, I would very much like to be making new friends!" The man looked as though he were wracking his brain for something to insure that Damian would stay, a very clear sign that Damian should leave. 

"Find other people to make friends with, I am very busy. Also, work on your friendship making technique. The whole knocking on windows in the middle of the night thing would be considered alarming, if not downright sinister to most down here on earth. You are more likely to be arrested than make friends." Not that Damian really had the authority to being giving advice on making friendships as a rather friendless grump. 

"What are you busy with?" The alien ignored the second half of his little spiel. 

"Well, if you do not move away from my vehicle, I will be busy running over your feet. Thinking about that should keep me entertained on my way home."

"Alright, alright, I get it. But can an I at least get your name?"

"Damian." His last name was too recognizable. 

"Nice to meet you Damian, my name is Jo–" but he did not get the chance to say because Damian had just taken off, leaving the completely-normal-human-and-totally-not-an-alien in his dust. 

He glanced back over his shoulder once he had put some distance between himself and the stranger, but when he looked back the UFO was not present. Damian was not sure if he should hope that he had been seeing things, or if it would be better if he truly did just meet an alien. 

The alien, if he was indeed an alien, did not seem especially menacing, just annoying. Though perhaps that was a tactic in order to gain sympathy or lower the guard of those it encountered. Regardless and true to his word, he was not about to tell anybody of what he had witnessed. His plan was to keep it to himself and quietly monitor what was going on among the stars when he got home. He could not just ignore the possibility of an alien threat after all. Then again, if aliens like this did really exist, then shouldn't someone have seen something by now? Wouldn't there be more solid evidence than a bunch of nut heads raving about aliens and government conspiracies? 

He was unsure if he should inform his family members as well. They might think him crazy and forbid him from going on with any of his extracurricular activities and he was not about to let that happen. No, it was best to quietly carried out an investigation for himself. 

By the time he had returned to Gotham, hours after the sighting, he had resolved to remove the issue from his mind altogether, at least until he had been able to sleep on the idea of alien life. Maybe he would forget the entire thing when he woke up anyway, thinking it had been a dream. Or maybe this had all been a dream in the first place, although it really did not feel like one. He felt completely awake as he parked his car in its designated parking space and made his way up to his apartment on the fifth floor of a rather grand looking complex. It was four in the morning, so really he had not stayed out any later than normal. 

The first thing he did once he had his computer on hand was to type out the outline of a report on what he had found on his little excursion for his father, excepting the part where he saw a UFO. Part of him felt that he should write it in just so that he could redact it, but he refrained from doing so. He would send over the finished product in the morning, he and his father were not speaking at the moment. They spoke to each other merely in terms of things that needed to be done and nothing more. It was not pleasant, but neither of them were particularly pleasant people a majority of the time. 

On his way to retiring to bed the young master Wayne paused at one of his windows to glare at the open sky. Clouds were beginning to drift in and and even if there were no clouds, he would not have been able to see the stars in all that light pollution from the city below. 

Clicking his tongue and shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts, Damian closed the window's shutters and wandered off to bed, hoping in vein to put this nonsense behind him. 

XxxX

Jon-El, also known as Jonathan Lane-Kent, frowned at the car as it has just driven away. The first human he meets and they have zero interest in him, what are the odds of that? He would think that being from another plant would make a person at least curious, but apparently not for this Damian guy. 

Jon gave a long sigh, looking over the field at his vehicle of transport. Perhaps he should not have made his arrival so dramatic. Maybe he could have jumped in front of Damian's car so that he was forced to stick around. No, that would be a pretty messed up way to make friends in a lot of ways. Plus, he didn't really want to traumatize anyone if he could avoid it. Also, he would probably lose a lot of faith in humanity if the car didn't stop after hitting him. 

Really, he should just forget about Damian and meet more pleasant humans, but then, Damian was the first he had ever really met and he seemed interesting. It would be a shame to just let him go like that. 

With this in mind, Jon rushed back to his ship. He'd had it custom made to look like the typical interpretation of a UFO because it made him want to giggle every time he looked at it and he felt like a destroyer of worlds whenever he was flying it around. 

He took a running jump into the light of the tractor beam and allowed himself to be swallowed up by his ship. It was pretty small on the inside, only big enough for a stasis chamber, the navigational system, and a bit of storage space. Jon liked it well enough though, but maybe that was just because it was his and he'd spent so much time getting excited about it. 

Sliding into the captain's chair (modeled after the captain's chair of James T Kirk), Jon flipped a switch and threw the vehicle into observation mode. Observation mode made the ship invisible to the humans down below. His father had told him to alway keep the ship concealed, but Jon found the idea of causing UFO sightings too funny to not do. He had been watching too much X Files. Besides, how amazing would it be to start a conspiracy theory firestorm. 

Jon was a fan of conspiracy theories on his own planet as well as on earth. As far as earth conspiracies went, the one with the lizard people was his favorite (excluding alien conspiracies): the reptilians. He just found it incredibly amusing, the idea that a bunch of lizard people wearing skin suits were controlling the world. It was too funny, he really wouldn't even mind if it was true. Then again, he was not a citizen of earth, so the lizard people probably would not have any direct impact on him. Maybe Damian was a lizard person, that would explain his weirdly cold attitude. That was probably a crazy idea, but maybe one still worth considering. One could never be too careful. 

Regardless of Damian's true human status, Jon tried to convinced himself that because Damian was so rude to him, he could justify what he was about to do. As Jon input a command to follow Damian's car, he knew he wasn't fooling himself. Stalking someone was not something that one could easily justify, and rightly so. It was a pretty creepy thing to do after all. Besides, what was he even trying to accomplish? He was not looking for revenge for the cold behavior, unless he was trying to friend him out of spite. Jon rather liked the idea of revenge friendships now that he was thinking about it. Someone slights a person and that person tries vehemently to make friends with them. He imagined it would only be beneficial in the circumstances where the person was not an asshole by default, otherwise it would just be a way of making a lot of toxic friendships. And that would not be so good. Hopefully this would not be one of those times because Jon was definitely going to try to make friends with this human. 

Damian's car ride turned out to be pretty long, three hours, seventeen minutes, and twenty-seven seconds, long to be precise. Fortunately, Jon did not wait around in the ship for Damian to reach his destination, instead he stuck the ship on autopilot tracking the car. In the mean time, he flew off on his own, as that was a thing he could do on this earth, to visit his parents. He checked the computer before leaving and Damian had been correct, he had been nowhere near Smallville and he did not know how he had messed that up. He had at one point fallen asleep on the control panel, so that might have done it. 

Jon didn't mind not flying by ship, earth was very pretty, especially while he was flying over cities at night. Jon was only able to see these sights after a few false starts seeing as he had never flown before, he was operating based on his father's advice. When he finally got the hang of it (after plunging face first into the ground, a street sight, a couple of treetops, and nearly a barn), it was one of the most amazing feelings that he had ever experienced. The air just felt so clear and the world so alive. 

At the end of his journey he touched down as gracefully as he could on the lawn, which involved him nearly smashing into his mother's car like a meteor. Regaining his balance, Jon stood looking at his childhood home. He had seen it just about every day for his whole life, but this was the first time he was really seeing it. He wished that it was summertime and not fall so that he could have heard the frogs and crickets calling while watching the fireflies. But alas, it was not to be. 

Giving himself a mental shake, Jon made his way up the driveway and opened the front door, which had been left unlocked for his arrival. His mother and father were still up, despite it being so late. 

"Jon!" his mother shouted from the dinning room table. She jumped up and attempted to scoop him up like she had when he was little enough to do so. It came out as more of a bear hug than anything else. 

"Mom!" Jon shouted back, laughing. His father also shouted his name before he joined in on this hugging action. "Dad!" Jon again echoed. 

After a happy moment both his parents stepped back to give him some space. It felt strangely like the first time he'd ever really seen them, although that was not exactly accurate.

"What have you been up to that made you so late?" Lois demanded, hands on hips. 

"I think I may have messed up the coordinates when I feel asleep on the console," Jon shrugged apologetically. 

His mother gave an exacerbated sigh, "You should be more careful, who knows where you could have ended up. You could have found yourself in the center of some big military base."

"But I didn't."

Lois gave him a warning look, "The point is, at least you got here alright and you should be more careful in the future."

Jon rolled his eyes, "Yes, mom. Anyway, I met a human when I was trying to figure out where I was."

"Really? Who?" his father asked. 

"His name was Damian, I think he's probably around my age and he was suspiciously uninterested in me considering how suspicious I was acting," Jon shook his head in disappointment. 

Clark hummed thoughtfully, "Where did you end up landing?"

"I came down somewhere near the coast. He was on his way home to somewhere, but he had started driving in the middle of the night. It was a little weird."

"On the coast, you really did get turned around." 

"Yeah."

"And did Damian look like he was up to no good?"

"Probably, but he looks like the type that wants you to think he's always up to no good."

"What did he look like appearance wise?" Lois' eyes narrowed. 

"Uh, black hair, black clothes, darkish skin tone, I think his eyes were green or hazel?" Jon attempted to make it sound like he hadn't been staring the man down the entire time they'd been talking, because he hadn't been after all. That would be weird... "The thing that stuck out most was his unhappy expression." Jon made a sour face that didn't really do Damian's scowl justice. 

Lois hummed thoughtfully, "Clark, do you have any pictures of the Wayne family?"

Clark turned to her, puzzled, "You think he ran into Damian Wayne? That would be quite the coincidence, don't you think?"

"Well, it certainly sounds like him," she shrugged in return. 

Clark was gone and back in a flash with a holiday card in his hands, which he handed over to his son. There was a dark haired man in the center of the photo with a balding butler at his elbow and a pile of grown children in various stages of fighting one another or smiling at the camera and ignoring the chaos around them. The man in the center looked rather resigned to this photo. Jon turned the card over. The back read:

"Sent to you against Bruce's wishes. Happy holidays. -Richard Grayson" 

Jon turned the photo back over and looked more closely at the grown children. This time he spotted Damian. He was nearly out of frame as he was being shoved away by another boy with dark hair who was slightly shorter than him but was not the shortest dark haired boy in the photo. He had a smug expression on his face, so Jon assumed that he probably deserved it. 

"That's him," Jon said, pointed to Damian. 

"That kid is a piece of work," Lois shook her head. 

"He's had it pretty tough," Clark shrugged. 

Lois sighed, wishing she had the power to make everything right with the world, "I know he has."

"I was thinking about stalking him home," Jon said as he stared at the photo. The words came form his mouth without his permission. "I mean– why did I say that? That's not a thing I meant to say." 

"You shouldn't stalk people," Lois warned. "Although, you could try to make friends with him. That would probably really annoy him."

"He doesn't have any friends?" Jon frowned, which quickly turned into a yawn. It was pretty late. 

"He's a bit hostile a majority of the time, he's gotten better though," Clark frowned. "I think you'd be a good influence on him."

"I should definitely stalk him then?" Jon laughed. 

"Do not stalk him, just make friends," Lois repeated. 

"Yeah, you probably shouldn't stalk him," Clark agreed. "But this can wait until morning. For now I think you should head off to bed."

"Good idea." Jon said, turning toward the stairs. 

"Oh, before I forget, where did you park the ship?" asked Clark. 

"Uh, don't worry about it," Jon said, taking his first bounds up the steps. 

"What do you mean don't worry about it?"

"I mean, it's fine, don't worry about it. I'll go get it in the morning. It's in observation mode."

"But where is it?"

"It's fine!" And with that he slammed the door to his room shut. Sluggishly preparing for bed, Jon went to sleep feeling content with the world. In the morning he would stalk down Damian and viciously befriend him and everything would be perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon meets back up with Damian.

Morning on the farm came around like it would on every other day. It took Jon a moment to realized that he was on earth and not Krypton. This realization came with a large grin and a leap out of bed. He could smell his dad making pancakes downstairs. Well, he could smell the pancakes. He was not actively trying to smell his dad and was not smelling his dad now. That would just be weird... Anyway...

Jon literally flew down the stairs and into his seat at the table. "Morning." Jon smiled. His father was in fact making pancakes, as expected, and his mother was stuffing a pancake into her mouth in preparation for work. They both returned his greeting. 

"So, what are you planning for the day, Jonny boy?" his father asked, flipping a pancake onto a plate and handing it over to Jon who drowned it in syrup, whip cream, and raspberries. 

"I'm gonna go find Damian, do you think I should tell him about the whole alien thing?" Jon asked around a forkful of food, "I mean, I'm ninety-nine percent sure he has probably already guessed, but there's always that one percent possibility that he's an oblivious idiot."

"He's a perceptive little sneak is what he is. But I think you're fine telling him, no one creditable would likely believe him on his own if he decided to tell the world," his mother reasoned, "and I don't think his family would let him do that if he wanted to. Bruce is an honorable sort of guy, I'm sure he'd raise a good kid."

"I second that opinion," his father announced with a flourish of his spatula. 

"Well, I guess that settles it," Jon said, scooping up another obnoxiously large forkful of pancake. "I'll be sure to give you a shout out in our friendship ceremony."

"What are you trying to do, initiate him into a cult?" Lois asked. 

"I'm just trying to make a human friend using all means necessary."

"Please try not to get arrested," Clark sighed, "I don't imagine being taken in and ship up with the criminals of Gotham is very pleasant even with superhuman powers."

"What do you think I'm going to do to him? It'll be fine, I promise. Just a normal friendship that may or may not require a ritual sacrifice and a blood oath. Pretty basic stuff." Jon shrugged. 

"Is this how you made friends on krypton?" Lois asked, eyebrow raised. 

"No, I just imagine that Damian is going to be difficult so I'm having to resort to other means of forming a friendship." On krypton Jon have made friends fairly easily given his sweet and charming disposition. 

"Alright, sweetie, just be careful," Lois stood up, kissed Jon on the forehead and grabbed her car keys. Clark followed suit, leaving Jon to clean up the pancake remains. Jon didn't really mind, he wasn't one to resent mindless chores too much. 

After cleaning up a bit, Jon took a deep breath and felt a hysterical laugh building up in his chest. He was finally on earth, finally able to see the world outside of the farm, finally able to meet people. Human people. 

He had to take care of a few other things before leaving, but soon enough he was on his way to Gotham city to find his ship. He could track the vessel through an app on his watch. Hopefully the ship wasn't hidden somewhere really inconvenient. He had heard stories about these types of ships getting stuck while on autopilot because of some shift in the environment. There was supposed to be some method of countering these effects, but obviously there were still times where things did not work out. He just hoped that he would not fly into the city to find his ship lodged in the side of one of the buildings. Although, that would probably make a pretty impressive picture and an even more impressive headline for the Gotham Gazette. Although, the force of his ship slamming into a building like that would cause considerable damage to many many people, so best not to imagine it. 

Instead Jon looked down and watched the landscape change, although he was still mindful of what was in front of him. Flying during the day was different than flying at night. Durning the day he felt like he could see farther and breathe easier, although that was probably just in his head. He also liked that he could fly with the birds rather than the bats. The birds just seemed more majestic than a bunch of disease carrying bats, not that bats weren't interesting in their own right but Jon would just rather hang around with feathered disease carriers if he had the choice. He also felt more secure in knowing that he could see anything coming toward him without any flashing lights needed, but again that was probably just in his head. 

Coming up on Gotham was quite the sight. The urban sprawl outward came together into a rather impressive cityscape. The buildings managed to look both impressive an menacing. Gotham did have quite the reputation for crime, so Jon found that quite fitting, though not especially comforting. 

Flying discretely in as he could, Jon closed in on his hidden ship. Thankfully the vessel was not lodged in a building or causing any other disruptions. It simply hovered in place over an apartment building, invisible to the human world. Thankfully it ran on solar power or Jon might have worried over the wasted fuel required to float there all night. He shouldn't have just left it out like that, it was stupid and irresponsible, though at the moment he was too distracted to really care. 

Jon flew up under the ship and crawled through the bottom. He quickly set the coordinates to send it back to the farm and slipped back out the door before it could take off. With that done, he turned back to the apartment building and turned his thoughts back to Damian. Hopefully the young man had not repressed the memory of his extraterrestrial encounter. That was a thing, right?

XxxX

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately (because what would that say about his mental state?), for Damian Wayne, he did not repress his little extraterrestrial run-in. Though due to the odd circumstances to which he woke up, as much as he would have liked to think it was all just a dream or delusion. His life was complicated enough, he did not need to add any more layers of complexity. However, it did take his brain a few seconds to catch up on what was happening. That was nothing unusual, he was really not a morning person. There would be no morning at all if he had his way, just, afternoon, evening, and night. So much for early birds... God, he was too tired for this. 

When he had readjusted to his surroundings, he noticed that there was a tapping at the window he had been staring out of only last night. His window four floors above the ground. He assumed that some stupid bird was ramming itself into the glass. He'd had the same problem before with a particularly dull robin when he was still living in Wayne manor. They were eventually forced to tape shimmery ribbons outside his window to ward the damn thing off because it insisted on giving itself brain damage by throwing itself at the glass. Now windows were more likely to draw in bats in the outcrop from the roof than they were to attract birds. 

Damian did not mind the bats, though he did find them somewhat irritating at times, but that was usually when they were diving down at him. He'd had to swat bats out of his hair more times than any mortal being should have to. He expected that even Dracula didn't have that problem.... Although Dracula turned into a bat, didn't he? He didn't have control over bats or attract them to him, so maybe it wasn't unreasonable that he didn't have the same problems that Damian did. It would be pretty amusing if vampires attracted bats though. They would be in the middle of plotting and they get dive bombed by a little swarm of bats. That little inconvenience might even humanize them a little. 

That aside, it was far too early to wake up according to Damian's internal clock, but the tapping would not cease by force of angry thought. So, after nearly ten minutes of trying to ignore the sound with no rest to be seen in the immediate future, Damian slumped out of bed and pulled up the shutters so that he could attempt to scare off a brainless bird, he instead saw a human. Or at least a human looking man given that it was the same man he had seen descend from a UFO only hours earlier. The shock of seeing him momentarily stunned Damian, a feat that was usually rather difficult to accomplish. He was very careful not to let it show on his face, which showed an expression of unimpressed indifference. 

The man was standing precariously on his window ledge, having removed the window screen which he was now holding like a shield. He seemed startled at seeing Damian, but getting his attention must have been his intent because what else would this tapping possibly accomplish? 

That would at least partially cover the why in the question of why he was there: to gain Damian's attention. But the how of his presence, the physical why of his presence, was elusive. How the hell had he come to be in this strange location? Had he climbed the building? Unlikely, the surface was reasonably smooth. Had he grappled up? Also unlikely without breaking the window. Unless he stood directly at the base of the building and managed to remain unnoticed by security. Maybe he snuck in and came down from the top? But that would require an awfully long rope, which Damian could currently not see. Perhaps he used his UFO to leap onto the windowsill, but he could see nothing but open air around him. But maybe the ship was cloaked. 

Honestly, Damian had suspected that the alien might track him down after what he had seen, but he hadn't expected him to be so up front about it. He had been expecting more of a secret surveillance, figures following at a distance, and mounting suspicions coming together in a final and inevitable abduction that would result in the removal and/or replacement of his memories. But apparently not. He was a little underwhelmed, although there was still time for this alien to sufficiently whelm him. 

After taking a moment to monitor the situation and finding no answers to any of his many questions, Damian gave the man an irritated look. Or rather, he intensified his typical irritated expression into something sharper. 

The man in return Damian's glare of irritation with a slightly guilty smile. "Think you can open this window?" He shouted, slightly distortedly through the glass. 

Damian weighed his options, trying to decide what his best course of action would be. He probably should not push him off the ledge, someone might see and it would make his family rather upset. Too much hassle and the guy was possibly an alien so there was no saying that he would actually die from the fall. Anyway, the point was that killing was bad and he shouldn't do it blah blah blah, whatever. 

The normal thing to do would be to let him in or call the emergency services and pretend not to know what was going on. Or he could just do nothing, unfortunately, as amusing as it would be to simply leave him there, he should probably ask how the man got up in the first place so that he could prevent future encounters. This was not a situation he wanted to find himself in more than once, he could hardly believe it was happening this first time. During this pause, the man started tapping pitifully on the window again, each tap like a nail being driven deeper and deeper into Damian's now throbbing head. So, he relented, pulling up the bottom window pain and watching the unwelcome guest maneuver himself inside, pulling the screen back into place behind him. 

"Why are you here?" Damian demanded. He felt the sudden urge to break a bottle of alcohol and hold it to the man's throat for the sake of intimidation. As soon as the thought occurred he decided that he had been watching too many shitty action movies and was not getting enough sleep. A katana or some other form of blade was more his style and if all else failed then his body was a weapon. Not that he would probably have to resort to such measures with this goofy faced fool, but said fool was also a probable alien and thus could not be trusted or underestimated. 

"I told you, I'm interested in making friends," the fool explained, either not noticing or ignoring Damian's inner turmoil. 

"How did you find me?"

"I followed your car."

"How?"

"It wasn't very hard, I just locked onto your signal."

Damian did not flinch. "Word of advice: when you are stalking someone, don't tell them. For legal reasons it's probably best to pretend you've run into them coincidentally, although you've messed that up too by attempting to break in."

The probable alien had the audacity to smile at him. "Noted, I appreciate the advise and will be sure to use it in the future." He gave a ridiculous solute. 

Damian rolled his eyes, "So, did you follow my car in your flying saucer?"

"I'm sorry, I've been advised not to reveal the finer details of my stalking methods."

"How did you follow me?" Damian demanded more firmly. 

"None of your business. I don't know what you're talking about."

"You stalked me here, so I think it is my business. Tell me or I will resort to violence. How did you find my apartment?"

"My ship followed you and then X-Ray vision."

"...What?"

"I have X-Ray vision."

"How did you get up high enough to look through into this room?"

"I flew."

"So, you followed my car and looked through my building to find my room?"

"Yes."

"That's a lot of space to search, did anyone see you?"

"Hard to say, I worked my way down from the top and the cover is pretty good on this side of the building."

Damian knew this. He had intentionally picked this building because it was in the shadow of another and people were less likely to see anyone grappling into and out of his apartment window. Not that he'd ever do something like that... He huffed. "Well again, you should not just tell these things to the person you are stalking, but regardless, have you just been standing on my window ledge all night and watching me sleep?" He wasn't sure if that was even possible given that Jon had been spying through x-ray vision so he assumed that he would just be watching a skeleton lay there. Somehow that didn't seem quite as bad as watching a soft body sleep. 

"Stop telling me not to answer questions and immediately asking me more questions, it's confusing! But no, I haven't. I had my ship follow you to your apartment, while I went to visit my parents in Smallville because it was late and I wanted to sleep. When my parents found out that I was stalking a mister Damian Wayne my mom told me I should stick around Gotham to bother you."

"How did you discover my full name?" Damian resolved to ask later how the hell he traveled all the way to Smallville and back to Gotham in such a miraculously short period of time. Maybe he could get away with stealing alien technology. Maybe this alien idiot would just give it to him if he asked for it. 

"I described you to my parents and they figured out who you were."

"And why would you tell your parents that you have become a stalker? Surely no one can possibly be so close to their family."

"Well, I didn't mean for it to come out of my mouth, it just did," he looked embarrassed, "Then I described you and they connected the dots and said that I should definitely bother you more."

Damian's eyes narrowed. "Who is this mother of yours who told you to bother me?"

"Lois Lane-Kent."

Damian frowned, "Is she an alien too?" He had not ever really met Mrs. Kent in a formal sense, although he had once been caught breaking into her house in search of her husband. She had not been amused. To his shame, she had been able to whack him with a broom before he was able to defuse the situation. To this day he resented and respected that fact. She was probably hoping her son would annoy him to death or something like that. If that was they case then she could rest easily knowing that he was well on his way to doing so. 

"No, but my dad is, which makes me only half alien."

So, Clark was this weirdo's alien father. Superman's son, that at least made some sense. Damian had only met Superman a few times, but his father knew the man well. As far as he had known the Superman was not an alien, just a man who preformed a number of acts that seemed inhuman. Perhaps he should have expected something like this, although with all the enhanced humans he'd met due to some form of chemical combination or accident, perhaps not. 

Superman kept a very low profile and was most of the time more rumor than substance what with the number of agencies wanting to track him down. Damian knew that he operated mainly in Metropolis, a city that even Bruce Wayne was nervous about visiting due to the heavy surveillance from Lex Corp. 

"Why tell me this?"

"Mom said no one would believe you if you said something and that you had an honorable father."

"And that makes me honorable by extension?"

"Well, I guess not exactly, but she seemed to think you were pretty level headed or a 'good kid' or whatever. So, I decided to take that as a 'go ahead and bother him until you're friends' and here I am."

"Here you are," Damian sighed in return. 

"I'm Jon, by the way. You drove away before I could really introduce myself. That wasn't very nice of you."

Damian ignored his introduction. "So, what happens now? Are you just going to follow me around until you deem us friends?"

"Maybe," Job shrugged, "It's hard to say. I need to explore the human world. You should definitely let me stay here though. I promise not to bother you much."

"I am fairly certain that you just promised to bother me a lot."

"Well, yeah, I guess I did, but I mean, what else do you have going on?"

"I am a very busy individual."

"Well, now you can be a busy guy with company. What if I promise to brighten up your day?"

"My days need no brightening," Damian scowled. 

"Right," Jon scoffed, "I'm just saying, what's the harm in letting me stay? I'll just be– You have a cat?"

Damian gave Jon an odd look. "Obviously," he said as the cat to which he was referring slunk into the room, eyeing Jon carefully. "His name is Alfred."

Jon was staring at the cat like it might turn out to be a ghost and keep walking right through a wall. "For some reason you didn't strike me as an animal person," he knelt to the ground and smoothed the cat's black fur. 

"I also own a dog and a cow, but they currently reside with my father given that he can allow them a more open area."

"You have a pet cow?" the half alien asked, still petting the cat. 

"Her name is Batcow."

"Weird. And the dog?"

"He is Titus."

"Well, Damian Wayne, I am intrigued. There may be more to you than I first imagined. Already we are exploring your many depths. Would it help my chances of staying here if you thought of me as a pet alien?"

"No, that would just make it creepy. Please, never refer to yourself as my 'pet' anything ever again."

"But I give lots of unconditional affection, I promise." He took a step toward Damian who took a step back into a fighting pose.

"I will punch you in the liver."

"I'm half alien, how do you even know I have a liver?"

"Fine. I will give you a series of punched and hope one hits your liver. Does that sound better?"

Jon's laugh was cut off the a knock at the door. It gave him the sudden urge to hide, like he wasn't really supposed to be there, which maybe wasn't surprising given the way he got it. 

Damian seemed less concerned and more annoyed with the noise. He checked suspiciously through the peek hole, made an irritated noise and pulled open the door. 

"You bypassed the front desk again, Grayson," Damian said to a slightly shorter man with dark hair and blue eyes. Jon recognized him from the holiday card. 

The man grinned, "Last time I went to the front desk, you pretended not to be here."

"You were trying to force me into going to that stupid art museum thing, which leads me to believe you want me to do something equally annoying today."

"Unfortunately, you are correct. I am here to remind you of the charity ball on Saturday."

"I told you before that I will not be attending."

"Look, I know you're not talking to Bruce right now, but–"

"If he wants me to go then he should apologize himself, not send you."

"I'm not here to apologize for him, just to put the upcoming date in your head."

"And you couldn't do that by phone?"

"Could have, but I haven't seen you in days." Dick made an effort to mess up Damian's hair, but the younger man ducked out of the way, giving his guest a full view of Jon who was watching their interaction curiously. "Ah, who is this?" 

"I'm Jon, Damian's totally normal friend." Jon grinned despite the grimace and grumble that they were not friends, that his 'totally normal friend' had just sent his way. 

Dick on the other hand looked floured by this response. "Well then, I'm Dick Grayson, Damian's brother, and I am very glad to meet you." He said while attempting to wrangle Damian into a hug which he was vehemently resisting. 

"You too!" Jon said politely. 

"Hey, if I told you to force this guy into coming to a charity ball, do you think you could make it happen?"

"Yeah, I can do that," Jon said with confidence. What with his inhuman skills, he imagined he could physically drag Damian there if he wanted to go or not. It might not be pretty, but he imagined he could make it happen if he really tried. 

"He can not," Damian protested, "I listen to no one, let alone you. In fact? You are one of the last people I should probably be listening to." Damian jabbed a finger at Jon. He looked much less menacing while he was in the process of being bear hugged. 

"Well, you let me break into your apartment, so I'm willing to press my luck," Jon pointed out. 

"Don't confess to crimes in front of other people, idiot."

"So, it's okay to confess my crimes to you then? Because I have a lot to answer for."

"I do not believe you. You seem too much of a Boy Scout to do too much harm."

"Again, breaking and entering."

"I let you in, you didn't technically break in."

"Slander! I'll have you know that I do all the crimes. I'll thank you not to smear my bad name," Jon crossed his arms dramatically. 

Dick Grayson appeared confused by this nonsense and finally released Damian. "What–? Ah whatever, I'm sure you can handle whatever this is. As long as you get him to that ball, you're good by me."

Jon grinned at him. "Thank you, kind citizen."

Dick turned back to Damian, "I was going to challenge you to a duel or something at the end of this exchange, but since you have a friend here, and we both know how seldom that happens. I suppose I should just be going."

"What sort of duel would it have been?" wondered Jon. 

"The both of us have had extensive martial arts training, so it's not so much dueling, I guess, as it is facing off against one another. Either way, I would definitely win, hands down. Damian's lucky he won't have to face this defeat."

"Shut up, I am way better than you, no comparison." Damian sounded arrogant enough that Jon couldn't tell whether or not he was bluffing. 

"Sure sure, whatever it takes, kid. What about you, Jon? Got any sick skills?"

Damian rolled his eyes. 

"I may have a bit of combat training."

"Think you could take Damian?"

"Yeah, I imagine I could," he laughed. 

"Don't sound so sure," Damian scowled. 

"If you guys go over to the manor with me, you could test your skills."

"No, I have a report to write," Damian protested. 

"Oh, if Damian is too scared to go, then I guess I have to say no too," Jon smiles sweetly. 

"I'm not scared," Damian responded immediately, "and I was just going to kick you out."

"Well, I don't believe you, so prove it or else I'll just go on thinking you're as feeble and helpless as the baby bird you appear to be."

"I appear nothing like a baby bird, what does that even mean? You are just trying to goad me into going."

"Judging by that face you're making, I think it might be working. Would it help if I called you a coward? Craven? What if I threw down my gauntlet to you? I'm not wearing any gloves, but I assure you that the invisible gauntlet has been thrown down. Do you accept my challenge, peasant?"

Damian grit his teeth at his playfulness and turned to his brother. "Fine, we'll go, but just because I want to punch this idiot in the face."

Grayson grinned at Jon, "I like you already. Come along, boys." And he led them away from his youngest brother's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this how one makes friends? No? Well, I confess I'm not much of a friend maker. Mostly I get taken in by more outgoing people because I don't talk. I suppose technically that is what Jon is doing now. 
> 
> I really like the image of Clark making pancakes for his little family. Anyhow, Superman exists in this universe, but has to keep it more low profile because lex corp has metropolis under heavy duty watch. So he's like a double secret super hero. 
> 
> Also, typically cardinals run into my windows, but I think we've also had Robin problems. 
> 
> Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

A car was waiting for them on the street. It was black and a lot nicer than the vehicles around it, but Jon did not know much about earth vehicles, so it was possible that he was getting the wrong impression. 

"I will drive," Damian insisted. 

"You will not. This is my car," Dick scoffed. 

"I'm a better driver than you," the younger man shrugged. 

"Hah. No. I seem to remember you obliterating Bruce's car once upon a time."

That seemed to shut Damian up for a second. 

"What did you do?" Jon asked, slightly worried for Damian's health given that obliterating a car sounded like something that could do some serious damage to the person inside. 

"Fine," sulkily, Damian instead took the passengers side, leaving Jon to sit in the back like a kid on his way to school. Jon had seen the inside of a car before in the movies, but not in real life. It was about as average as he expected it to be. 

"He was involved in a high speed chaise and when he tried to slow down in order to get onto the Gotham bridge, the car wouldn't stop. So, he jumped out the door and let the car smash into the railing and fall into the river."

Jon was horrified, "Were you okay?"

"Fine," Damian scoffed. 

"Well, the car was done for but he managed to escape with only some severe road rash on his leg and arm," Dick explained. 

"Why wouldn't the car stop?"

"Well, either someone cut the breaks, which I find unlikely given that it was Bruce's car and it was probably booby trapped because he's paranoid; or there was a flaw in the manufacture and design or the car, which is possible; but I think it's more likely that Damian just panicked and didn't put his foot down on the break."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I said okay, now can we just go? My time is very valuable and I don't want to waste it on stupid conversations." Damian said, his voice slightly strained voice from withholding the urge to defend himself against Dick's accusations. He knew already that he was likely to make the situation worse if he did. 

The drive to Wayne manor was not especially long, but it was filled with Dick and Damian bickering over the music choice. Jon didn't really mind, he watched out the window all the menacing looking buildings zooming by. 

The manor itself was larger and creepier than Jon had anticipated. It looked like the sort of place a vampire would live. He wasn't sure why exactly he got that impression because the place looked relatively normal. Maybe it was just because it was so large and immaculate. He could imagine it better as a photo than as a real place and could easily imagine Damian as a vampire dwelling inside it. Those things together likely formed this thought. Damain as a vampire would probably be the type of blood sucker that was all uppity about the social class of the people he sucked the blood from. Only the classiest blood for him. Would vampires drink alien blood? There would probably be some pretty weird effects, at least he hoped there would be. Damian would probably be pretty funny as a loopy vampire. Loopy Damian as a human was also something Jon would probably enjoy seeing. 

Dick parked the car in front of the manor and they walked the path to the front entrance. Jon could hear a dog barking behind the imposing doorway. As soon as Dick pulled open the door, Damian was attacked by a very happy canine. 

"Is this Titus?" Jon asked, patting the dog's head from where he had jumped up on Damian. The dog snuffled his hand for a moment before giving him a good lick on the palm. Jon laughed and wiped the slobber covered hand on his jeans. 

"Indeed," Damian said, pushing the dog aside as they strode into the manor. Titus trotted along with them as they went. Jon was a little disappointed that he didn't get all wiggly and excited like his grandparents dog used to. 

An old man was waiting for them upon their entry. 

"Ah, welcome back, Master Richard. Master Damian, your father is expecting you. And who might this be?"

"This is Jon, Damian's friend," Dick chirped, clapping Jon on the shoulder. 

The man raised an eyebrow. "Indeed? Well, I am Alfred Pennyworth and I serve the Wayne family."

"Nice to meet you, mister Pennyworth," Jon smiled. 

"Just call him Alfred," Damian grumbled, "and tell father that I will send him the information later," he addressed Alfred.

"Master Damian, you father–"

"Is being his typical self and so I shall avoid him until absolutely necessary."

"Very well," Alfred sighed. 

"We're off to the training room," Dick interjected. 

"If you must," Alfred nodded, "Try not to injure one another too badly."

"But Alfred, my dominance must be asserted," Dick pouted. 

"Hah, you are in for a painful defeat, Grayson."

"That's what they all say before I come in and kick their asses," Dick gave Damian a quick boop on the nose, after which Damain gave his hand a solid sounding slap. 

"Who is this they?" Damian asked indignantly, "Even Todd can kick your ass most of the time."

"Now you're just making things up! Jon, don't listen to him, he's trying to give me a bad name."

"Well, in my mind you'll always be the best. Until proven otherwise, of course," Jon laughed. 

This seemed to make Dick very happy. "Damian, you have to keep this kid. He's–" His phone went off, cutting his remark short. Checking his messages, he swore.

"Something wrong?" Damian asked carefully. 

He gave a nervous laugh, "Nothing, I just have to go see Jason about something."

Damian raised an eyebrow, "That doesn't sound ominous at all."

Dick gave him a look. "Anyway, I have to go. I remain the greatest in your mind for another day," he addressed Jon, giving a rather dramatic tip of his invisible hat ending in a bow. 

"Are you admitting that you would lose that title if you were not running away?" Damian asked. 

Dick ignored him. "Can I trust you kiddies to play nicely?" He put his hands on his hips in a motherly scolding sort of way. 

"I promise to only harm Damian's pride," Jon vowed, raising his right hand. 

"I like the sounds of that," Dick grinned, "Like I said, this kid is a keeper."

Damian scowled, "Just get out of here, idiot."

Dick laughed as he walked off back the way they had come. Damian ignored him and continued walking until he and Jon reached a closed door which Damian shoved open to reveal a training room complete with matts and what appeared to be gymnastics equipment. 

Damian turned to Jon very seriously. "I'm assuming that your inhuman powers are comparable to your father's. Just so you know, you don't have to hold back when it comes to fighting me or destroying this room."

"I really don't want to mess up the room. Maybe we should start with me not using my powers," Jon said, slightly nervously, "I don't really want to hurt you ether."

"Fine, if you want to get your ass kicked. Then no laser eyes, frost breath, or flight. Use your strength as much as you deem necessary. " Damian was annoyed with being underestimated and was planning on making up for it in taking Jon down as quickly and painfully as possible, without causing permanent harm, of course. 

"Can I still use x ray vision?" Jon wondered, his mouth moving faster than his brain. 

Damian gave him an odd look. "Why would you want to?"

"I–" Jon blinked as if startled, "Shut up, it was just a question, okay? Forget I said anything. Let's do this."

"Very well," Damian sighed, sliding back into a defensive position in the middle of the room. "Ready," they both tensed. "Go."

Jon leapt forward, but Damian jabbed him in the chest and he was pinned in the first five seconds. 

"Don't underestimate me just because I don't have any powers," Damian smirked, letting Jon up. 

Jon coughed, feeling pretty silly. "Fine, I get it. No power constraints. Let's go again."

The first few fights Damian was still able to take Jon down embarrassingly quickly, but soon enough Jon was catching on and using his powers more to his advantage. He ended up pinning Damian a number of times, much to Damian's irritation. 

Some unknown amount of time later the two boys lay panting on the matts. "I admit, you are pretty good." Jon said. 

"Don't feel too bad, I have been trained practically since birth."

This struck Jon as slightly odd. He was pretty sure that was not a common human practice. "Why?"

"In case those skills were ever required, which they were." His voice dipped a bit like there was more he wasn't saying. 

"Oh. For some reason I thought you were going to say you where the chosen one or something." Maybe not enough oxygen was getting to his head. Maybe this manor was filled with some sort of gas that made him lose control of his mouth because he couldn't seem to shut up. 

"The chosen one for what?"

"I dunno, maybe it's just because I finished rereading the last Harry Potter the other day."

Damian scoffed at him. "What kind of half alien reads Harry Potter?"

"The kind with a human mother and a family that promotes reading in all forms. I'm going to assume you've read Harry Potter."

"I am sure you have been warned not to make assumptions."

"Then you haven't read Harry Potter?"

"That is correct."

"Damian! You have to read them. You have to!"

"What? Why?"

"Because they are literally the best and I've read them all at least four times."

"They do not interest me."

"Have you at least seen the moves?"

"I don't have time for–"

"You have to see the movies! I don't care about your excuses, if we are going to be friends, you have to at least try to watch them. I can understand if you hate then, but to not even give them a chance? That is unforgivable."

Damian rolled his eyes. He planned on denying that he wanted to establish a friendship, but that's not what came out of his mouth. "What planet are you from anyway? Do they have DVD players for you to watch movies on or some sort of high tech orb or something ridiculous like that?"

Jon laughed, "I just watched them at home with my mom on DVD when I was little, we both love Harry Potter so it works out well."

"Home as in on earth, or wherever you are from?"

"Sort of both. We had a thing set up where my house on krypton was linked my house on earth. The farm in Smallville was replicated so that I was interacting with the same environment and we had machines that my parents images were projected upon so that I could interact with them and stuff without actually being there. The same went for me in their home."

"So you have never actually interacted physically with your parents?"

"Not until last night."

"Why couldn't you just stay on earth? I'm assuming you were born here."

"When I was born I couldn't breath the air on earth, so my dad put me in a little stasis chamber and sent me to live with my grandparents on krypton. They're the ones who set up the house."

"Why can you breathe the air now?"

"I had surgery a few months ago, Now I'm here, breathing in the air and all that jazz." He took a deep breath to prove his point. 

"Interesting, so is earth or krypton nicer in the physical sense?"

"Hard to say they are alike and different in many ways. It's too early to say where I like to stay better."

"You don't want to go stay with your parents?"

"Honestly, I think they are relieved that I'm not staying in Smallville. It's time that I actually got around to interacting with other humans."

Damian made a thoughtful noise. 

"So anyway, can I meet your cow?" Jon asked. 

Damian scoffed, but pulled himself up off the ground. He was soon followed by Jon. "She's out on the grounds."

"Well, I wasn't really expecting her to be inside. Lead the way."

Damian gave him a half hearted glare, but started wandering through the halls, dog and half alien right behind him.

"How could you stand to live in such a big house?" Jon asked as they passed about a million closed doors.

Damian shrugged, "I was used to it."

"It makes me nervous. There could be someone else living in here and you would never run into them."

"We have security measures installed to prevent that."

"Still, it makes the house big, deep and spooky and full of ghosts."

"If you think this is creepy, I should take you out to see the family cemetery."

Jon shuddered, "Do you think the ghosts come up to wandered around the house."

Damian gave a cryptic smile, "All the time."

Jon was sufficiently more jumpy after that. 

They eventually reached a small barn fenced in on the edge of the grounds. A white and tan cow grazed lazily in the afternoon sun. 

Immediately, Jon hopped up onto the fence. "Did you know that cows are the most commonly abducted animals after humans? I mean, at least by Kryptonians. I can't speak for all aliens that choose to steal things from earth."

"Why would anyone desire to steal cows?"

"I dunno, they're good for experimenting on. Like I heard that in human high school biology classes frogs are dissected, we dissect and experiment on cows like this."

"And the humans that are abducted?"

Jon looked somewhat concerned, "I don't actually know what happens to them."

"Creepy, I will endeavor not to stand in open, empty fields in the middle of nowhere if I can avoid it. Anyway, I was forced to dissect a number of things in my schooling, including a sheep's eye. When I tried to cut into it, I accidentally squirted eyeball juice all over my father."

Jon laughed, "I'm sure he appreciated that."

"Well, it was a bit accidentally on purpose so he was not exactly happy with me."

"You two are on bad terms right now, correct?" Jon stepped down from the fence. Damian was staring at the cow with determination and not at Jon's sympathetic expression. 

"We are on bad terms most of the time."

"Why?"

"Things are complicated, but I think you would understand if you met him. Or not, he is suitably charming when it is required of him."

"Well as your budding friend, I am on your side in this." He nudged Damian's arm lightly with his elbow. 

Damian sighed and leaned away from the touch. 

"Anyhow, things can't be too too bad if you still work for him. I mean–" Jon cut himself off laughing when the cow turn her hear toward them. "Is that why she's called batcow?" The cow had the emblem of a tan bat across her mournful face. 

"Indeed, it is."

"Where on earth did you find a cow like that?"

"Rescued her from a slaughterhouse."

"You what?"

Damian shrugged, "It was a work thing."

"Remind me what it is you do."

"I work for Wayne Enterprises and sometimes it requires that I rescue the odd cow." Damian's phone vibrated. "Alfred says we can go in and eat if we want."

"Let's go, lead the way, Master Damian."

"Shut up," Damian scoffed without any real malice, turning back toward the manor and leading them away from the baleful eyes of Batcow. 

Lunch was lovely. They had grilled cheese and tomato soup. Typically, Jon was not a fan of tomatoes, but he did very much like dipping his grilled cheese in soup. It was more that he just didn't like eating raw tomatoes. Maybe it was a texture thing, maybe it was because their insides looked like the insides of someone's internal organs. 

Regardless, he did not voice any of this, instead he ate quietly and watched Damian bicker with Alfred about visiting more often for non-work related reasons. 

When they were done, Damian hopped up and lead them back outside through a different way. They came out around the back of the manor. Jon could see a cemetery at the bottom of a slope. 

"You're bringing me to the cemetery?" Jon asked slightly nervously. 

"You are the one who got me thinking about it," Damian shrugged. 

Jon groaned. "Do you think you can still swallow a ghost if you're walking toward the cemetery?"

"What?"

"My grandma—my human grandma—would always say that you should hold your breath while passing a cemetery or else a ghost might, I guess, fly inside you and follow you home."

"That is stupid, ghosts are not real."

"I know that, but what if they are."

"They are not, so it doesn't matter."

Jon fidgeted as they moved closer to the gate, which Damian promptly climbed over instead of bothering to open. Jon took a leap and landed a little too lightly to look natural. He looked around a the various tombstones in the small area.  

"These are all your relatives?"

Damian shrugged, "I suppose."

"Where do they burry family pets? Do you have a pet cemetery?"

"Actually, we do. Out in the woods down there," he gestured over his shoulder, although there was a wall blocking his view of the woods at the bottom of the hill, "There are a series of stone crosses that mark the graves of the pets."

"That sounds super creepy."

Damian shrugged and began wandering the cemetery. Jon followed him, nervously trying not to step on any of the graves, which was easier said than done. Damian seemed unconcerned about walking over the burial sights. He came to a halt at the graves of Thomas and Martha Wayne. 

"These are the ones that my father usually visits visits, as they are his parents," Damian stated blandly. 

"Oh," Jon frowned. They were nice graves, he supposed. They had a bouquet of plastic flowers in front of each. "Sorry."

Damian shrugged, "I did not know them, but their deaths shaped my father's life."

"Ah, now I'm doubly sorry."

"If not for their deaths, I doubt I would be here."

"Their being dead led to your father meeting your mother?"

"I find it unlikely that events would have played out in the same way if they had been alive," Damian mused. 

"Do you ever see your mother?" Jon asked cautiously. He sounded rather bitter in talking about the union of his parents. 

"Not if I can avoid it, but she pops up every now and then to be a thorn in my side."

Jon frowned, in seemed more and more evident that Damian had always had a difficult life and Jon wished he could just sort of snap his fingers and make it all go away. Turning back to the graves, Jon noticed something odd. 

There were a few places in the line of graves near Martha and Thomas that had flower holders but no graves. There didn't seem to be any others like that in the surrounding area. 

Jon walked over to the flower holders. "Is anyone buried here?" He asked. 

"Not anymore," Scoffing, Damian walked to the non-grave second to the right of Martha and leapt onto the earth where a body would have been buried. Jon hesitantly stepped up beside him, peering down the flower holder as if he could see what was down there. He could not. 

Damian suddenly shivered. 

"Someone's walking over your grave," Jon said absently as Damian made an uncomfortable face. 

"I always heard it as a goose is walking over your grave," he replied before hopping onto the non-grave next to the one he was standing on. 

"That doesn't make sense, why would you be able to feel a goose walking over your grave and not a person?"

Damian shook his head, having no answers. 

"Anyway, who was buried here?" Jon looked back to the ground. 

Damian gave a smirk that made Jon's skin crawl. "No one important."

"I hope it was someone you know, or else that was a very disrespectful thing to say."

"Are you saying that you hope someone I know was buried and unburied here?"

"I– okay, that's not what I meant, but you should be nicer to the dead."

"Why? They aren't going to know about it."

"How do you know. Maybe they're watching us right now."

"They aren't. That's not how death works."

"And you would know?"

"I have had my fair share of brushes with death. I would say that I am more qualified than most to make speculation on death."

Again Jon wished to snap his fingers and make life easier for Damian. Instead, he sighed and looked around and noticed some rather old looking trees inside the cemetery walls and his stomach squirmed. "Do you think... Never mind."

"What?"

"I just noticed that those trees are pretty old looking and those dead people are pretty old so maybe the tree roots have like settled around their coffins or through their coffins or something."

"Hopefully."

"What do you mean?"

"If their coffins are encased in roots then they have a smaller chance of ever coming back."

"So, you don't believe in ghosts, but you believe in zombies?"

"I've just seen a lot of odd things in my time."

"Whatever you say, old man."

Damian scowled at him. 

"Is that what happened to the people there? They came back to life?"

"That is exactly what happened," Damian said in a voice so deadpan that Jon really wasn't sure how to take it. 

They spent a little more time wandering the graveyard before heading back up to the manor. 

"A bit of advice," Jon offered as they wandered back, "Do not bring new friends to the family cemetery. It's like super creepy."

"Maybe I'm trying to scare you off." 

"Well, I think you're more likely to give me nightmares than scare me off. I'm telling you, I'm sticking around."

"Fantastic," Damian said blandly. 

Jon smiled. He didn't think Damian would even be humoring him with a friendship if he wasn't wanted there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did I decide to write a weird cemetery scene? 
> 
> I don't know the layout of Wayne manor but for whatever reason I think it looks menacing. 
> 
> Also, for the record, I don't believe in ghosts but I do take really deep breaths when I pass cemeteries just in case one wants to follow me around haha
> 
> Thanks 

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I have to give my usual disclaimer that I proofread as best I can but I'm dyslexic. So, I'm really sorry for my many mistakes :-(
> 
> Also, I probably made Bruce into more of a jerk than he really is but I just find him so frustrating sometimes. Most times.... Anyway, I feel like Jason would watch ancient aliens just to be annoying.
> 
> I'm opens-up-4-nobody on tumblr if you want to come bother me :-)
> 
> Thanks.


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